New to Blogging

It appears that time has worn down my resistance to blogging. Actually, it has more to do with the fact that all of my friends live far away - most of them in blue states, (sigh) - and since I read their blogs, they will feel obligated to read mine. So I have been discussing the blog idea with Dan, my partner, for a couple of weeks. Mostly, we have been debating what to name my blog. We have also been discussing what to name our unborn child - but since we have until June for that the blog name seemed far more pressing. It turns out that Dan was a little bit of help, but not much. Dialogue:

Me: What should I name my blog?
Dan: I don't know, what are you going to be blogging about?
Me: My life.
Dan: Then name your blog - DarciGraves.
Me: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

This is typical thought process for Dan - he is a super geeky engineer and everything for him consists of logic, reason, and usefullness. For example, he does not find sexy shoes to be sexy, he would rather I wear snow boots because that is a far more practical choice in this part of the world.

I digress. The idea for a blog came from two different places. The first was my sister. She thought it would a great idea if I started a pregnancy blog. You know, post pictures of myself week by week, write about my cravings, how I am feeling, etc. This struck me as a very boring idea and something that nobody but my mother would really care to read. So I ignored her.

The rest of the idea finally came to me after attending Dan's company christmas party last week. Yes, I know it is January. The party was postponed due to the massive amounts of snow that we had in the month of December. (snow boots really are more practical) So at the party I had the distinct pleasure of watching as many of Dan's colleagues became increasingly uncomfortable as they searched for the proper words with which to address me. No, I am not Dan's wife. Should they say fiancee? Girlfriend? Wife to be? Baby mamma? Oh the pleasure of watching them squirm and stutter while staring at my baby bump. Of course they all have good intentions, not wanting to offend us by using the wrong term.

So a few days later I was ranting to my BFF, who also happens to be an unmarried mother in a long term committed relationship, about the "label" situation. Apparentaly her partner refers to her simply as "his lady" which works for him because he is a super artistic actor guy who can pull that sort of thing off without sounding stupid. For the rest of us, it is a far mroe sensitive subject. If we say domestic partner, or partner, people think we are gay. Which is fine with me, but then as my BFF found out, you have to deal with awkard questions about artificial insemination.

The reality is, Dan and I have been together for so long that people tend to assume we are married and I am often referred to as Dan's wife. We actually stopped correcting people a couple of years ago. What we do correct are people who refer to me as Mrs. Funke, or Darci Funke, or any variation thereof. We simply say, actually it's Darci Graves. This really confuses people in a red state, most of whom cannot imagine why a married woman would not change her name. Now I could rant for hours about the name change issue - but we will save that post for another day. So to make a long story short, I decided that blogging about being an unmarried pregnant woman in a red state was a far more interesting topic than simply blogging about being pregnant. You see, I already face enough crazy challenges simply by virtue of being a feminist in a red state - but you throw a big belly in and things start getting really crazy.